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• B E L I E V E • I N • Y O U R S E L F •

Believe in yourself!

They seem like relatively simple words don’t they…? Believe in yourself… ok… sure…if only it was as simple as saying the words…

Today I had the day set aside to begin my Uni Course in Anatomy & Physiology. Everything was organised, I had made childcare arrangements, the house was clean, I had purchased a shiny new notebook and pens… and finally I had run out of excuses and had to actually take the first step and start my course.

I wasn’t really sure where the fear was coming from, but it was there, I was so afraid to start. It felt too big, too overwhelming. I remember from school how terrible I was at any sort of science or biology and the thought of studding it honestly terrified me. I was so afraid that it was too much for me, and that I wouldn’t be able to accomplish it… then what? Do I just accept failure, what would everyone think? What would I think?

Anyway, I think you’re now completely up to speed as to where my mind was sitting this morning.

So finally I bit the bullet and I started the course. Oh my lord, it was just as terrifying as what I had imagined.

I had absolutely no idea what I was reading… cells, membranes, atoms, organs, circadian rhythm, multi cellular organisms, homoeostasis, tissues etc. etc. the list went on and on… I did not have a clue what I was reading, what I was supposed to retain, how I was going to get through 100 hours of this and then remember it all for a 3hr exam at the end of the month!!

Total overwhelm swept in.

It appeared in my usual delightful way… heart racing, on the verge of tears, hating myself, doubting myself… and then nearly snapping my husbands head off when he spilt my cup of tea… hehe…. whoops…

Anyway, for the first time in a very, veeerrrry long time I acknowledge what was happening in the moment. I stopped and took a deep breath, I walked away from my desk and went into a place in my home that always brings me peace and just took a minute to re-assess the situation.

I realised that it was my own negative self talk that was putting me in this position. I had said right from the moment I found out that I had to do this course as part of my Kinesiology qualifications that I would struggle with it. Every time I mentioned this course it was immediately followed by a comment about how I couldn’t do it, wouldn’t understand it and wouldn’t be successful at it.

Enough.

I have committed this year to not hating myself, or putting myself down and this had to stop right now. Day 1 of 2018.

So… I apologised to hubby for snapping, made myself a fresh cup of herbal tea, put on my oil burner and filled it with some calming Rose and and Lavender oil, picked up my laptop and text book and went and sat in my beautiful happy space to start again…. and start again I did.

I literally went back to the very first message in the system welcoming me to the course and read everything again with a fresh set of eyes and an internal dialogue that told me that I could do this. I am a successful, intelligent woman and I can learn anything that I put my mind to… and do you know what… it worked!

I found a list of items that you should know after each lecture (which incidentally I’d missed the first time around) and I love nothing more than a list, so I started with the first lecture again and wrote answers to the 17 questions in that lecture. By the end of it I had my mojo back, and not only did I complete that first dreaded lecture and questions, I managed to complete three in total – two more than I’d planned – so I smashed that goal today!

So my message to you all today is to remind you that you can change at any point.
It’s never too late, and you are never too far gone to stop doubting and start believing in yourself.

Your internal self talk is so very important, and as I said in my new years resolution – it’s time for me to practice what I preach – so here you go. A real life example on Day 1 of 2018 where I turned that negative self talk around and had an amazing result.

Now I’ve got another 27 lectures to smash out this month and get another step closer to my dream of being a qualified Kinesiologist.

Watch this space – because I’m going to do it! 🙂

Much love my friends,
Stacey xx

• L O V E • Y O U R S E L F •

“And if I asked you to name all the things you love, where would you come on that list?”

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I’ve been pondering this for some time now… if I’m being honest, I don’t even make the list of things I love.

It’s quite strange as I do so much work on supporting, loving and empowering others around me, including my own little girl. We do positive affirmations, read books encouraging self acceptance and promoting self worth, yet somehow I’ve lost the love for myself.

I have survived a lot of things in my adult life, things I would never wish on anyone, and somehow in my fight to survive these times I have completely neglected myself.

It started with little things like not having time to go to the hairdressers, not getting my nails done etc then moved to not getting enough sleep, not eating right or at all and then totally neglecting my body and soul completely.

Yes going to the hairdressers may seem small or superficial, but all those little things that I used to do for myself was my way of loving and looking after me. It was about making time for myself, pampering and nurturing and putting myself first and when I stopped the little things, it somehow snowballed into the big things too.

So now I’m on a new path, a path where I walk the walk rather than just talk the talk. How can I tell my daughter she should love herself no matter what, when I don’t lead by example? How can I tell my friends & clients to nourish and prioritise themselves when I don’t do that myself?

So I’ve decided my New Years resolution is just going to be focusing on trying to actually make my own list of things I love, then once I’m in there I want to move my way up the list.

I hope that by opening up about my own personal struggles and journey I can help you all see how special, unique and important you all are.

I truly hope that your name is on your own list of things you love, and if it’s not then let’s change that together in 2018.

Much love as always friends,
Stacey 💜 xx

• L E T T I N G • G O •

It’s time for me to let her fly… but I’m not ready…

The truth is I’ve been having a really tough last week.

My little princess had her first transition session for school next year, and I knew it would be hard, but I had absolutely NO idea how gut wrenching an experience it would actually be.

Everyone says to you when you have a baby that you’ll blink and it’ll be over, before you know it they’ll be at school and you’ll wonder where the time went.

I never really thought that it’d be like that, because it seemed like we had forever together to enjoy this amazing little person that we’d created… yet somehow it seems to have gone by in the blink of an eye and I’m now having to let her go onto the next chapter of her life… but I’m not ready… she is… but I’m not…

It was hard for me when she started Childcare and then Kinder as she was so very shy and attached to me. It took so much work to build her confidence and get her to a place where she would happily run off and play with other children and make new friends.

All I ever wanted was to help her be a confident little soul who knew her own worth and when I took her to school transition and pumped her up about how amazing it would be she happily gave me a kiss and hug goodbye and ran off with the other prep kids. She told me that she felt nervous but that she knew she would make friends and have fun. Bless her little cotton socks, she’s so bloody cute and my heart nearly burst as it was so full of pride in her.

Yet on the flip side it was a real heart wrenching moment to watch that little person who was so dependant on me, just run off and start this new chapter in her life without me by her side. It was such a confusing feeling, pride and sadness all intermingled in one.

I honestly could not ask for more than a child that I know is ready for school, who is excited about it and ready to go. It’s such a blessing as I know that there are so many parents out there who are not in this position and would love nothing more than to have a child who is healthy and happy and ready for this step.

On the flip slide though as much as I am grateful, I couldn’t stop the tears that flowed later that night. They were tears for that amazing little baby girl that I have seen take her first breath, shed her first tear, let our her first giggle, give her first hug and kiss and then walk into her school for the first time.

I’ve realised that it’s time for me to let go of the little caterpillar that I bought into this world, as before my very eyes she has grown and changed into the most beautiful butterfly and she’s ready to soar on this next chapter of her life, and I will stand by her side throughout every step she takes, I’ll take a deep breath and remember how blessed I am to have the opportunity to share this special time with my girl.

I’ve opened my hands little butterfly… it’s time for you to soar…

Much love,
Stacey xx

• O U R • L I F E • P A T H •

Over the last few months I have been through a lot of change.

I found myself at a crossroads in my life that I didn’t want to be in and have been polarised by the thought of making a decision on ‘what’s next’ for me.

It’s funny because when it comes to making a decision for someone else I’m fine – but when it involves me or my immediate family I am so afraid of failure or doing something ‘wrong’ that I get completely overwhelmed by it.

I have felt very lost after being made redundant after over a decade in my corporate world role. I honestly had no idea what I wanted to do next, and I had so many, SO MANY, opinions thrust at me on what I should do next. The only problem was that I had no idea what I wanted.

The corporate, high flying career that I thought I always wanted and that I had worked so hard for just didn’t fulfil me in the way that it use to. My priorities had dramatically changed since becoming a mother and I had no idea what was next for me.

Whilst it may be easy to say that you can do anything you want to, and achieve any dream you put your mind to it’s not easy when you actually don’t know what your dream is anymore… what exactly is it that are you trying to work towards??

For me I was lucky enough that I had the capacity to have some time to figure out what was next for me so I took the advice that a select few special people in my life gave me, and I just enjoyed being a stay at home Mum.

Once I finally was able to relax and let go of a lot of the anxiety and stress of trying to make a decision everything started to fall into place… life is funny like that sometimes…

I now find myself on a completely different career path, once that fits me perfectly. It fills up my soul and had made me a better, happier and healthier person. I believe I am a better wife, mother, daughter and friend because of this.

I have a long journey ahead with work and study to achieve my next dream, but it feels so good to have a dream again to work towards and to truly feel fulfilled in your life.

It’s a cliché but life really is too short to be unhappy. So my advice for what it’s worth is to try and hold on through the uncertainty that life gives us all.
Try to be strong, and keep going even when you feel that life is so confusing, overwhelming and hard and that you can’t see your way out of the fog.

It does get better, it really does. I think that sometimes we need to go through the difficult times to really open our eyes to how blessed we are and what we have.

My recent journey has really shown me those amazing gems that I have in my life that are always there to lift me up, support and encourage me. I have some very special cheerleaders in my life and I feel very, very blessed that they have chosen me to love and support and I can’t thank them enough for believing in me.

So if you’re in the midst of change, or heartache, or uncertainty please just hang on… it will get better, the sun will shine again and your path will appear… you just have to keep putting one foot in front of the other every day until it does.

Much love,

Stacey
xx